The Justice Department and Securities Exchange Commission are looking into Motorola Solutions to see whether it offered bribes to foreign government officials. Keep in mind, this isn’t the same Motorola that makes phones and owns a bunch of lucrative patents – you know, the one Google just bought. This is the Motorola that makes two-way radios and barcode readers and deals mostly with businesses. Motorola Solutions is like the Cousin Oliver to the Brady Bunch or perhaps the Leather Tuscadero of Happy Days. Because you know Marsha was way too prim and the Fonz was waaaay too cool to try and bribe foreign officials.

Motorola had already launched an internal investigation back and has been working with authorities on the matter since 2009. That investigation dealt specifically with Turkey, but the current claims broaden the picture quite a bit to include all of Europe.