The demographic of the 25- to 45-year-old female is a hugely significant one for advertisers. Everything from yogurt to laundry detergent to lotion to orange juice is marketed to women in that age range.

So what does it feel like to be a target-market female? Katie Brinkworth offered a peek into a day in the life with her McSweeney’s essay:

At 6 am on the dot, the 25-to-45-year-old target-market female wakes up with the sun. She stretches with delight, excited to greet the day.

For breakfast, the target-market female debates whether to eat the yogurt brand that encourages her to be herself, or the one that helps her poop. Today, like most days, the target-market female chooses regularity over self-worth.

After drinking a cup of the orange juice brand that makes her look the thinnest, the target-market female lotions up every inch of her body and gets dressed for the day. She then takes a short, breezy walk to a local café, where she patiently awaits signs of male appreciation for her noticeably soft skin.