DEEP SERIOUS OMNISCIENT VO: This episode of Million Bazillion contains examples of real brand names and actual products, but is not an advertisement or endorsement of those products. [TONE SWITCH] Just so you’re, uh, aware.

(SFX: OFFICE AMBI, COPY)

BRIDGET: Hey Ryan, nice running into you at Million Bazillion world headquarters. Whatcha doing?

RYAN: Just makin’ copies. Remember that from SNL? “Makin’ copies.”

BRIDGET: Uh, not at all. I’m going to the store real quick, you need anything?

RYAN: Actually, yeah. I noticed the office first aid drawer is out of Band-Aids and Q-Tips. Can you pick some up please?

BRIDGET: When you say “Q-Tip”, do you mean cotton swab or the specific brand, Q-Tip?

RYAN: Ummm, whatever. Just regular Q-tips, or swabs.

BRIDGET And are any adhesive bandages okay, or do you need Band-Aids, the most popular brand manufactured by Johnson & Johnson?

RYAN: Um, whatever-

BRIDGET: Because you said Band-Aids.

RYAN: But you know what I mean. “Band-Aids” in the general sense.

BRIDGET: But only one company makes “Band-Aids.” So how am I supposed to know if you just need an adhesive bandage and don’t care who makes it, OR if you need that specific brand!?

RYAN (CHOMPING) And, oh, I’m eating the last Popsicle. Can you buy some more?

BRIDGET: (SIGHS) Popsicle is a brand. So do you want any ice pop or does it have to be Popsicle?

RYAN: Any cold treat is fine- Whoops, I spilled my popsicle. Hand me those Kleenex!

BRIDGET: Ok, so Kleenex, registered trademark of the Kimberly-Clark corporation-

(SFX: MALFUNCTIONING COPY MACHINE)

RYAN: Hand me any tissue! Oh no! My Popsicle-

BRIDGET: Ice pop.

RYAN: – is melting into the Xerox machine!

BRIDGET: Copy machine.

RYAN: Ugh! You’re no help! I’m gonna Google how to fix it!

(SFX: TYPING ON COMPUTER)

BRIDGET: Ok, so you said “Google”, and just typed your search into Bing.

RYAN: Ahhh! You know what I mean!

–Theme Music–

BRIDGET: Welcome to Million Bazillion. I’m Bridget!

RYAN: And I’m Ryan! And We Help Dollars Make More Sense. And I think this Xerox machine-

BRIDGET: Copy machine.

(SFX: COPY MACHINE SPUTTERING OUT)

RYAN: I think this copy machine is a goner. Let’s hear today’s listener question, which comes to us from Kade, and he wants to know: Why do brand name products cost more than non-brand name products?

SFX: FADE OUT COPY MACHINE NOISE

BRIDGET: This is a great question! When we talk about  “brand name products”, we mean something from a well-known company that has put a lot of work into making sure you know and come to LOVE their product. And maybe, if they do a good job, their brand name becomes the word we all use to describe that thing.

RYAN: Right right, that’s what you were getting at earlier, like how Band-Aids are a brand name type of adhesive bandage.

BRIDGET: Yes, exactly.

RYAN: And those differ from non-brand name products. Also known as store brand or generics. You might not recognize the label, but the whole point is that they cost less money than the brand name option.

BRIDGET:  Okay, let’s take a little pause and see if you can think of things in your home that you call by their brand name? Pause the show if you need to, we’ll wait!

(SFX: SHORT MUSIC STING)

BRIDGET: Okay so, anyway … brands are everywhere, even in our everyday speech. Sometimes a brand name becomes so well known, it can actually replace the name of the thing in daily usage- like Kleenex or Band-Aids. Or Jacuzzi.

RYAN: Really? I thought all hot tubs were Jacuzzis.

BRIDGET: Nope. Jacuzzi is just one brand of hot tubs.

RYAN: How ‘bout that. So it would really seem that brands are all around us.

BRIDGET: So the question is: why do brand names cost more than other options? Is the higher price a sign that brand-name products are actually better when you compare them to generics? Because higher price is supposed to mean higher quality, right? Or is this some sort of massive trick?? We’re gonna get into it… right after this.

(SFX: Music)

KIMBERLY: And now it’s time for asking random kids, not so random questions. Today’s question is, if Million Bazillion made something that you could buy, what would it be?

KIDS: If Million Bazillion made something I could buy? It would be Million Bazillion bumper stickers … It would be something that would advertise them, so like a water bottle that says Million Bazillion … a Million Bazillion cactus … probably a Million Bazillion bobblehead … a Million Bazillion board game … I feel like it should be stocks, because this is a podcast about economic stuff. So it makes sense.

KIMBERLY: That was Ashwin in Washington, DC, PJ in Massachusetts, Ada in Georgia, Sage in New Hampshire, Sebastian in Minnesota, and Arjun in Ohio. This has been asking random kids, not so random questions.

RYAN: And we’re back! Today on Million Bazillion, we’re answering the s question: why are brand name products more expensive than non-brand name, or store-brand products?

BRIDGET: Now listeners, one day you’re gonna be making a lot of shopping decisions, and you’re gonna have to pick between brand names and not-so-brand names pretty much all the time. When you buy clothes, when you buy toilet paper, when you buy sunscreen!

(SFX: store ambi begins)

We’ve headed to our local grocery store which seemed like as good a spot as any to really get a hands-on lesson about brands and what they cost. Let’s go inside!

(SFX: SLIDING DOORS

SFX: REGISTER SCAN

SFX: CARTS)

GROCERY STORE WORKER: (OVER PA SYSTEM) Clean up on aisle 7.

RYAN: Hmmm, Bridget, Have you ever noticed how many brands  have their own song? Like these famous ones:

(JINGLE COMPILATION: A QUICK COMPILATION OF FAMOUS COMMERCIAL JINGLES)

RYAN: (HUMS ALONG WITH “MEOW MEOW”) Ohhh, Skimbleshanks loves that one!

SOUP CAN: Excuse me, can you please be quiet? It’s bad enough I have to hear those songs over the grocery store PA system every few hours, I don’t need you humming them too!

RYAN: Who said that??

BRIDGET: We’re the only ones in this aisle–

SOUP CAN: Oh sure, I’m a generic can of soup, so you don’t even really SEE me!

BRIDGET: Ahh, it’s a talking soup can! There on the bottom shelf!

(SFX: SHORT SAD MUSIC CUE)

SOUP CAN: That’s right, way down here! Where no one ever bothers to look. It’s me, a store brand can of ham and split pea soup. You can call me Soup Can.

RYAN: Oh, sorry, Soup Can. We didn’t see you there.

SOUP CAN: Of course you didn’t! My label isn’t as flashy and my placement isn’t as well situated as those name brand cans! I get it. I don’t have a cute mascot or a catchy jingle. I’m just a plain gray can of soup. But so you know- all that advertising stuff doesn’t make soup taste better. The only reason you know those big brands is because companies spend tons of money to play those jingles for you over and over again.

RYAN: Do they do that because they love to fill the world with little silly songs that get stuck in our heads?

SOUP CAN: No! Because when you’re standing in the aisle trying to pick between brands, they’re hoping that you’ll remember and recognize THEIR brand name, and you’ll take it right to the checkout line. Even if it means you’re paying more.

RYAN: [LOW] Depends on how good the jingle is.

SOUP CAN: That’s why they do ALL the advertising they do! But what about me, huh? My creators didn’t spend money on frivolous jingles and big fancy advertising campaigns. But I’m here, a delicious pea soup WITH ham chunks, sitting here on the bottom shelf for two dollars less than  those guys up on those higher shelves!

BRIDGET: Well, I don’t know that the soup makers would think the jingle is frivolous. Branding, like jingles, helps us know something about a product before we buy it. Think of it this way. Would you rather go see a movie you’ve seen trailers for and you and all your friends have been excited about for months? Or would you rather see a movie based on the title alone? Which one would you feel better about spending your money on?

RYAN: Well, as a fan of independent and world cinema, I often see films knowing nothing about them- not even the language- and have discovered really interesting cinema that way. Actually, I have a little list-

(SFX: LIST UNFURLING)

RYAN: The Red Balloon, My Neighbor Totoro-

BRIDGET: Yeah, I’ve seen your “little” list before.

SOUP CAN: Look, I don’t know movies. I’m soup.  But there are plenty of examples of store brand products like myself whose differences are BARELY DISCERNIBLE from our brand name counterparts!

BRIDGET: That means, you can’t really tell the difference between the store brand and the name brand item, like if you didn’t have, say, packaging or something.

SOUP CAN: That’s right! Check out the medicine aisle, three lanes over. You’ll find different medicines that have the same active ingredients, and those are the ones that matter! Only difference is, the one with the grocery store’s name on the label costs less, and the brand names cost more!

BRIDGET: That’s true, but sometimes you kinda can tell the difference, right? And there’s nothing wrong with buying something, paying a little bit more for it, because you like the taste, for example. Like in the cereal aisle…there’s always going to be like, the Cheerios from General Mills and then some other suspiciously similar circle shaped grain cereal called, like Crunchy O’s or something, for just a leeeetle bit less, but they don’t really TASTE the same, like you can totally tell–

SOUP CAN: Sure, but you shouldn’t assume that the name brand one is better! You’re not one of those terrible ASSUMERS of things, are you?

BRIDGET: What? No, I thoroughly research–

SOUP CAN: sometimes there’s not much of a difference between the store brand and the name brand product, from cereal to bandages to ice cream. But there’s always a price difference.

RYAN: So why would anyone buy the name brand version? To just throw away money?

SOUP CAN: That’s what I’m saying! With people so desperate to save money, I don’t get why people spend more on a big brand name over a generic one if there’s no difference between the two.

BRIDGET: Well I think people like a familiar brand name. We know that they work the way we want them to! So then we trust them. Maybe we feel like they say something about us when we buy them. Maybe we’ve used the brand for years. Like if your parents always bought Tide laundry detergent, you’ll probably stick with Tide when it’s your turn to do laundry, even though you see cheaper options in the detergent aisle.

RYAN: I’m an Arm & Hammer man myself. The arm on the logo looks strong like mine!

SOUP CAN: [BITTERLY] Well all I can say is … if you value the things that come with name brands … then you’re gonna pay for it! But if you’re willing to take a chance on a can of soup that’s a little less flashy, but just as nutritious, I’ll be right here, waiting for you. (GRUMBLING LOWLY) Like I waited for Andy Warhol to paint me. I kept offering, “Andy, I know you like soup! I’ll model any time.” Phone never rang. Whatever. I never got what he was doing anyway.

RYAN: Bridget, this can is clearly miserable, despite his protests to the contrary –

SOUP CAN: I’m not protesting anything, I’m tired of sitting on this shelf.

RYAN: – I think we should try to turn this pitiable can of soup–

[SOUP CAN OFF MIC: Hey!]

RYAN CONT: into the star he’s desperately yearning to be.

(Music begins)

RYAN: I think we’re leaving a lot of money on the table here! We should turn this Soup… into a real honest to goodness name brand.

BRIDGET: How should we even begin to do that though? We’re not marketers! We’re not brand consultants!

RYAN: I pret-ty sure there are people who can help us out with that, Bridget!  We’re gonna develop a winning marketing plan for this sad and pathetic can of soup! When we come back!

RYAN: Welcome back to Million Bazillion! Quick little recap here-

(MUSIC: REALITY SHOW STYLE)

RYAN:Today we’re answering a question about why brand names cost more than non-brand names or store brand items. While scoping out the aisles of our local grocery store, we met a lamentable little store brand can of soup boiling over with resentment about his lack of popularity. After some brilliant brainstorming on behalf of myself, we’ve decided to give him a glow-up into a NAME BRAND can of soup. But does this can of soup have the can do spirit to go from bland to brand? We’re about to find out.

(MUSIC ENDS)

RYAN: Is that a good recap of where we are?

BRIDGET: Yep, that’s about where we are in this episode. But where are we, like, physically, right now?

(SFX: LOBBY AMBI)

(SFX: ELEVATOR DOORS, WALKING INTO ELEVATOR, DINGS)

RYAN: Oh, we’ve brought Soup visiting a marketing expert at Logan & Lerman, this town’s fanciest branding  agency. You ready, little buddy?

SOUP CAN: As ready as I’ll ever be.

(SFX: ELEVATOR DING, DOORS OPEN)

(SFX: MAD MEN STYLE THEME)

BRIDGET: Wow, this office is nice. Branding must pay pret-ty well.

BRAND MAN: Bridget, Ryan, pleasure to make your acquaintance. My name is Guy DeGuy, and I’m the top branding expert in business. If you’re looking to launch or expand your brand, you won’t find anyone better than me to help you. Can I get you a Fiji Water? A Pellegrino? How about a Nespresso or a Mountain Dew Code Red?

BRIDGET: (ASIDE) I dunno, Ryan. This guy seems a little… full of himself.

RYAN: (ASIDE) I think that’s exactly what you want in a branding expert. Would you take sales advice from someone who says, “Um, oh, actually, I’m not very good at selling stuff. You probably shouldn’t work with me.”

BRIDGET: Hmm, good point. (TO GUY) Very nice to meet you. We’re Bridget and Ryan. And this is Soup Can, your real client.

SOUP CAN: Hi, I’m Soup. Your fancy “brand”-speak may convince these two here, but I only care about real results.

BRAND MAN: Of course, you’re a guy who likes to get his money’s worth! I can support that! My job is come up with the story for who you are. And what that means about a customer who buys you. People don’t want to “buy a product”, they want to buy… an adventure, a mystery, a romance!  If you don’t have a story to share, I think you’re actually leaving a lot of money on the table.

RYAN: That’s exactly what I’ve been saying.. The “money on the table” thing. I said that exact thing!

SOUP CAN: (SKEPTICAL) Tell me more.

BRAND MAN: Look, I can tell you’re a critical thinker. And maybe you’re a little skeptical of my work. Maybe you think brands are bunk to begin with, and I don’t blame you. But there’s a good reason we have brands in the first place. Let me tell you a little story…

(MUSIC: RUSSIAN STYLE)

RYAN: [OUT OF SIDE OF MOUTH] Where is that music coming from?

BRIDGET: [OUT OF SIDE OF MOUTH] Seemingly everywhere and no where?

BRAND MAN: Once upon a time in Soviet Russia, people realized they were paying a higher price for brand-name products than for products that didn’t carry an established brand name- just like here. And they decided to get rid of brand names entirely.

VO RUSSIAN MAN: What is this, Capitalist West? No, ban the brand!

RYAN: And what happened?

BRAND MAN: Well a few interesting things, without brand names, shoppers had a hard time using their past experience to know which products to buy and which not to buy. Like, let’s say you’re buying maple syrup. One’s made well and tastes sweet, while another is manufactured poorly and tastes bitter.

VO RUSSIAN MAN: Olga wait, I hated that maple syrup we bought last time. Let’s get a different kind this time.

VO RUSSIAN WOMAN: Ah, Vlad, slight problem.

BRAND MAN: But they’re all in the same bottle with the same label. You’d want to stop buying the bad syrup and give your business to the company that makes the sweet syrup. But without brand labeling, you can’t really tell which is which.

VO RUSSIAN WOMAN: I would pay more for the better syrup!

BRAND MAN: And because consumers couldn’t tell the difference between products the people making the syrup and tooth paste and canned tomatoes, they stopped working so hard to make anything that was any good. Companies basically had a reason to cut corners and make lower-quality stuff. By not being able to put bad businesses out of business, it was the customers who suffered. And that’s why brands are important.

(END MUSIC)

RYAN: Wow, Guy. You just convinced me all the methods of product branding in the ruthlessly capitalist American system are, in fact, ok. You ARE a good salesman!

SOUP CAN: So what are you suggesting we do for me? What’s my brand?

BRAND MAN: (INTENSE)  I’m seeing a vision in my head right now.

(SFX: MUSIC)

(SFX: BASKETBALL SHOES SQUEAKING)

BRAND MAN: You’re a hearty soup, for people who need filling up. Like athletes! Yeah. A liquid energy drink can only get them so far. What they really need is a chunky soup… that they can drink straight from the can!

SOUP CAN: I don’t hate the sound of that.

BRIDGET: (WHISPERS) I’m not sure about drinking lukewarm ham chunks during basketball practice.

RYAN: (WHISPERS) Shhh, they’re making magic.

BRAND MAN: Oh, this is gonna be good, we’ll want a big advertising budget for this. We’ll get a spokesperson to join your team.

BRIDGET: Oooh! That could be a celebrity, like a famous actor-

BRAND MAN: Oh yeah, let me look at my big list of approachable celebrity spokespeople here… theres, uhhhh, Mindy Kaling!? Or, um, let’s see who else we got here….uhhh,  Mindy Kaling?!

BRIDGET:  Or maybe an athlete, who will get paid to say how great they think Soup Can’s soup is.

RYAN: Gets paid to eat soup you say? Say Guy, I’m just going to leave my card over here, and if you’re looking for any podcasters who might want to endorse something, just give me a call–

BRIDGET: Ryan! We don’t endorse products for money!

RYAN: Yeah, I’m aware. I’ve seen my bank account.

BRAND MAN: Next we’re gonna need a commercial and a  jingle, hmmm, How ‘bout a little something like this? A sea of white sneakers squeaking across a basketball court opens to reveal…. the can of soup. LeBron James, or a more affordable alternative, grabs the can.

(SFX: (NBA-STYLE THEME)

BRAND MAN:

(NBA SPORTS STYLE THEME)

When it’s time to win

Choose Soup Can Soup,

The soup  that helps you dunk!

BRAND MAN: Do. you. Love it. ?

BRIDGET: Hmm, one thing though, I’d be a little worried about claiming our soup helps people dunk basketballs better. Aren’t there rules against that?

BRAND MAN: Well sure, we can’t just say anything! There are laws against that. That’s why we’ll add this little disclaimer.

BRAND MAN: LOW AND SPED UP: This soup will not help you dunk.

BRAND MAN: Next, we’re gonna need to sign Soup Can up for a makeover. He needs a logo that will really push the sports message, you know? What I’m looking at now is really giving off store-brand vibes.

SOUP CAN: I suppose I am due for a little spruce up, especially if I’m going to be hanging out with famous basketball players … Maybe I should wear a little jersey?

BRAND MAN: Exactly! And what about a new name? Soup Can is kind of…well, generic. I’m thinking we go with something that really screams, sports.

RYAN: Ooo! What about Half Time Soup?

BRAND MAN: But sports don’t happen during halftime.

RYAN: No, but like you drink it during halftime. Ah, forget it, I’m not helping-

BRAND MAN: What about… Courtside soup?

BRIDGET: Oh yeah, and then you’re appealing to spectators too. I like it.

BRAND MAN: If this all goes well, ten years from now, kids will be asking their moms for a bowl of Courtside, they won’t even know how to spell soup!

SOUP CAN: Hmm, I don’t know…

BRAND MAN: And while we’re at it, we also need a change of location. For you. We need to be a little more strategic when it comes to product placement in stores.

RYAN: Placement? At the grocery store? What’s he talking about Bridget?

BRIDGET: Well… Say you’re walking down the peanut butter aisle, which are you more likely to buy? The jar that’s way too high to reach…

RYAN: (GRUNTING, REACHING)

BRIDGET: [CONT] the jar that you have to bend down to get…

RYAN: (GRUNTING)

(SFX: BONE SNAP)

RYAN: Ow my back.

BRIDGET: or the jar that’s right at your eye level in front of you?

RYAN: In theory, the jar right in front of me- however, I have a minor peanut allergy and therefore avoid all legumes of the groundnut varietal, but yes, I get your example.

BRIDGET: Well, the point is, very often the big brands have paid the grocery store for that great spot on the shelf. Remember, when we found Soup Can, he was all the way on the bottom shelf. Not great placement, but cost effective!

BRAND MAN: So, yeah, we’ll get you the new name, new jingle, primo spot on the shelf and  it’s all vibes from there! We’ll know if it’s working when we do our tests, see how consumers are reacting! Ooh, I know, let’s  build you a Spotify playlist–

SOUP CAN: Oooh! Can I pick the music? I love me some new jack swing!

SFX: POP OF NEW JACK SWING

BRAND MAN: It’ll be great. People will really feel like, if they want to show they’re a serious athlete who needs to refuel to really play their best game, they need to put you in their cart and take you home.

SOUP CAN: [ENTHUSIASTIC] Yeah! Take me home!

BRAND MAN: No matter the cost!

SOUP CAN: [ENTHUSIASTIC TO START, THEN CHANGES TONE] No matter the– cost. Hmm. Speaking of all this…how much is all this going to cost?

BRAND MAN: Oh, of course, here’s my bill–

[SFX: UNFURLING PAPER, CHA CHING NOISE]

RYAN: Let me see–[COUGHING FIT] Wow Guy, that’s uh, a lot of money!

SOUP CAN: I’m a can of soup! I don’t even have a wallet! How am I supposed to pay for this?

BRAND MAN: Oh, don’t worry, look, we’re gonna bake these costs into every can of soup. So your  price on the shelf might go up a little…

SOUP CAN: By how much?

BRAND MAN: you know, a couple of cents…and an additional 3 dollars. Three dollars and 4 cents, precisely.

SOUP CAN: [OUTRAGED] That’s double what I cost now! I wouldn’t be any cheaper than all the other, brand name soups!

BRAND MAN: But think of how much cooler you’ll be! You’ll be worth it for once!

[BEAT]

SOUP CAN: Well, I think I’m worth it now.

(MUSIC: SUBTLE EMOTIONAL SCORE)

SOUP CAN: I’ve been a store brand soup can all my life. Mothers buy me for their kids having a sick day. College kids- out on their own for the first time, saving their pennies, not knowing how to cook anything- buy me. Little old ladies on a fixed income put me in their cart next to their prune juice and have me for lunch. I’ve always been an affordable option for cost conscious shoppers. That’s not a life I’m ready to give up, okay?

BRAND MAN: Of course, it’s your choice. You will be leaving money on the table.

RYAN: (INTERRUPT) Money on the table. That’s what I was gonna say. I was thinking that too.

BRIDGET: We get it, Soup Can. Come on, let’s get you back to the grocery store.

SOUP CAN: Yeah, let’s go, Bridget and Ryan.

(MUSIC SWELLS TO A FINISH)

(BEAT)

BRIDGET: Oh. Do you validate parking?

BRAND MAN: Yeah, check with the front desk.

BRIDGET: Thanks.

(REPEAT BIG MUSIC FINISH)

(SFX: happy guitar music)

LOLA: Hi. My name is Lola, and I’m nine years old. I own DJ and friends. DJ and friends makes one of a kind, and unique stuffed animals for everyone to enjoy. Some of them just look like shapes. Some of them look like little bunnies. Some of them are orange, turquoise, Rainbow, Hot Pink, hot pink with spikes. I started thinking about starting my stuffy business after I had found a stuffed animal in my grandparents house that my mom had made when she was little. I’ve been in business for about half a year. I’ve made about 200 stuffy so far. So first we cut the fabric, then we put the eyeballs in, then we use a sewing machine to sew them, but we leave a little hole so that we can stuff them, and then we hand sew the hole. My advice for other kids to start businesses is do your best at whatever you like most.

(SFX: GROCERY STORE AMBI)

SFX: CLEAN UP ON AISLE 7 FROM PART 1

BRIDGET: Welcome back to Million Bazillion! We’re wrapping up our episode on brands, returning this non-brand Soup Can to the soup aisle. Did you have fun today?

RYAN: Yeah, I mean, I really thought for a minute it might work out, but ultimately, Soup Can decided he’d rather be a store brand staple than a brand name mega-star. Once again, our crazy scheme was a swing and miss.

BRIDGET: But we did learn a lot, which is the whole point of this show.

RYAN: (SIGHS) Learned I’m still broke. Anyway, what did we learn?

(MUSIC: RECAP MUSIC)

BRIDGET: Today, we learned that brand name versions of the things we buy can cost more for many reasons. But ONE of those reasons can be because the folks who make those brand name goods spend more money getting you to know and trust their product than their store-brand competitors. That includes spending on advertising, spokesmen, and catchy jingles. That cost is passed on to you, the consumer. Generics and store-brands can be the same quality or pretty close to their brand name counterparts, but they’re made for customers who want to pay less money.

RYAN: Now, everyone has their personal brand preference and that’s totally fine. Use the shampoo that’s right for you. Huh, that could be a jingle…. But if you have savings in mind, you might want to consider thinking outside the brand box and trying out a generic sometimes. You may save money without noticing any difference. It’s a decision you have to make yourself. Over and over again, almost every single time you buy something. Wow that’s a lot of pressure.

BRIDGET:  Ok, Soup Can, here you go. Back to the bottom shelf.

SOUP CAN: (SULK) Out of sight. Out of mind. Where I guess I belong.

RYAN: Awee, Don’t get down on yourself, Soupie. We made a Spotify playlist for you.

BRIDGET: It’s not branded or anything, it’s just for fun.

(MUSIC: THROUGH A CELL PHONE- NEW JACK SWING STYLE MUSIC PLAYS)

SOUP CAN: Wow! And it’s my favorite type of music!

CUSTOMER: (WALKING BY) Hmmm, is that new jack swing I hear coming from the soup aisle? Lemme take a look. Hmmm, this gray can of soup looks hearty, delicious and can’t beat the price. Lemme just reach down and grab it (GRUNTS) and in my cart you go.

(SFX: CAN GOING INTO CART)

(SFX: CART ROLLING AWAY)

BRIDGET: Soup can, you did it!

SOUP CAN: I can’t believe I did it! I’m sold! (GETTING FURTHER AWAY FROM MIC) Bye Bridget and Ryan! Thanks for believing in me!

RYAN: You’re a champion in our book!

PUDDING: (LOW VOICE) Um hey.

BRIDGET: Ahhh! Who said that?

PUDDING: It’s me way down here. Generic pudding. Any chance you want to do an episode about me?

RYAN: Oh boy.

–Theme Music-

BRIDGET: That’s it for this episode of Million Bazillion! If you’re not done learning about brand names and store brands, we’ve got more for you at our website, marketplace dot org slash million!

RYAN: While you’re there, send us the questions you want us to answer next!

BRIDGET: Special thanks to Franklin Shaddy at UCLA for helping us in answering this question!

RYAN: Million Bazillion is brought to you by Marketplace, from American Public Media. This episode was written and hosted by me, Ryan Perez, and Bridget Bodnar.

BRIDGET: And we had some extra help voicing this episode from Courtney Bergsieker, Chris Julin, Jay Siebold, and Bekah Wineman.

RYAN: Jasmine Romero is our editor.

Courtney Bergsieker is our producer.

Marissa Cabrera is our senior producer.

BRIDGET: This episode was sound designed by Chris Julin and mixed by Bekah Wineman.

Our theme music was created by Wonderly.

RYAN: Bridget Bodnar is the Director of Podcasts at Marketplace.

Francesca Levy is the Executive Director of Digital

Neal Scarbrough is the VP and General Manager.

BRIDGET: Million Bazillion is funded in part by the Sy Syms Foundation, partnering with organizations and people working for a better and more just future since 1985. And special thanks to The Ranzetta Family Charitable Fund and Next Gen Personal Finance for providing the start-up funding for this podcast, and continuing to support Marketplace in our work to make younger audiences smarter about the economy.

RYAN: If Million Bazillion is helping your family have important conversations about money, consider making a one-time donation today at marketplace-dot-org-slash-givemillion, and thanks for your support.